Wednesday, October 7, 2015

45...5 years makes all the difference and no difference at all really

5 years makes all the difference and no difference at all really...

So, I just read what I knew at 40.  I'm not sure I know much more now, but here's what I think I've learned in 5 years...

Being a mommy means saying no and MEANING it...if you don't mean it, they will walk all over you.  And I thought that 8 year old girls were competitive 5 years ago, HA! 12 year old girls are just freaking nuts, and so are 9 year old girls for that matter...but I wouldn't trade being a girl mommy to my Beebs and my Annie for anything in the whole wide world. In fact, I really do wish that was my full time job. And, truthfully as they have gotten older, they are a full time job.

I've learned that my Annie  just needs me...and I need to, have to, want to carve out time for that baby every day. Sometimes it's just watching her do 40 gazillion back handsprings and round offs and handstands in 22 seconds flat, and sometimes it's just holding her for 22 seconds in my lap. That child...she has the sweetest heart and I love her so. And Beebs, she just wants me to hear the 40 gazillion words she has to say...and even if she thinks I'm not listening, I hear every single word and repeat them verbatim to her daddy, because he many words y'all.  But, she talks to me, so I listen. She's more independent now, but she still just wants to "stay with her mommy"...her words. Oh how I love her!! She is always, always looking out for the underdog and wanting to make sure everyone is happy. But that girl is strong!

And accepting my faults...really Angie, you have so not learned how to do that. I do think about it every day though, and I'm okay with most of them...still not patient...God did not make me that way.  I'm always late, and I try to be okay with that, but I worry that whoever is depending on me at the end of that late is being let down, and I truly don't want to let my people down...I pray about that every day.

I have learned to stop and pray when I think of something or someone that needs prayers.

I'm still okay not acting my age and I try to do that as often as possible. I am so over vampires and have so moved on to Highlanders named Jamie Fraser. I would travel through a stone circle in a heartbeat!! Ha, I wonder if I'll still feel that way in 5 years when I'm 50.

I still know that I would never have made it as an elementary school teacher, but I am not sure I'm cut out to be an assistant of varying types (executive, personal, financial), which I have been since I was 21...dumbass...find your voice (that's a Dave Grohl quote...look it up, it's so worth watching).

I am a wife of 19 years and I wouldn't trade that for anything in the world other than being a mommy. My husband loves me no matter what. He loves me...richer poorer sickness health better worse, he has my whole heart and he makes sure it is safe and that I am loved and in love and he makes me loving when I'm not able to be loving...he does that for me! He has my back and he keeps me safe and he loves ME! Now that makes me the luckiest girl in the world!

I have learned that sand sea and sun are the stuff of which my soul is made. That's my new quote, and it's an Angie original, that I quoted last weekend in Orange Beach, Alabama.

Lord have mercy, I have no clue what the next week holds, much less the next 5 years, but I know that I have 2 precious girls and a husband that love me and really that's all that matters to me!