Family, The Holler and Christmas (Self)

Well, Christmas self is a happy girl! I love to bake and what better time of year to bake than Christmas! Of course, I haven't had time yet, but I think all major committments are complete now and I can focus on time at home, time to bake and time with my precious girls and precious hubby! Okay, so precious is not the greatest word to describe two kids and one husband (and one crazy mommy) all couped up in the house at Christmas, because 1. "baby, it's cold outside" and 2. I really miss Summer self:)! I thought of her today as I was sipping (okay gulping) my ice cold Corona Light, readying myself for another set of family visitors and staring into the eyes of Ro, Jo, We, Beebs and Annie in a picture by the pool in their bathing suits eating homemade ice cream. It was kind of like that scene in Christmas Vacation when Clark is looking out the kitchen window envisioning the pool he is going to put in as soon as the ground thaws out.

Anyway, we have already had several Family Christmas celebrations and it's only December 19th. Every year on the second Saturday of December, since my Bigmama died, we have the Johnson Family Christmas! My Bigmama was my mama's mama and my mama is the youngest of 13. It used to be a whole lot of relatives in a small space, but some of them don't come anymore. Even despite the efforts of my JenJen who sent an FB message to every family member she had FB friended asking them to be there. If you are reading this and you didn't come, you should be terribly ashamed you bunch of heithens! My Bigmama would have wanted you to be there and I am sure that she smiles down on us from Heaven, not only every single day of the year, but especially on the second Saturday of December. You know who you are, heithens.

All of this brings me to the Holler. The Holler is acutally Johnson's Holler (Hollow to those of you who don't call it Holler, but it is Holler), where all thirteen grew up. William, Ceil, James, Elton, Opal, Arthur Bird, Hurbert, Wilma, Bobby Joe, Judy, Jean, Neil and Linda, all thirteen. Well, the DOT in Tennessee decided that it would be a good idea to run a portion of the interstate right straight through the Holler. It brought tears to my eyes! I couldn't even find the turn to my Bigmama's house. But, as Daddy says, that's progress. Has he no sentiment, I ask you? Then, we drove on around to Thompson Station Road, where my Granny's house was and still is, but she is in Heaven, and yes, she smiles down on me every day too. I just told my MIL today that I know that my Granny, my Bigmama and Daddy's Granny have a party in Heaven every day and are always smiling down on us. Anyway, TS Road is a wreck! There is a bridge going right over the hill and fields of the Fry's (Gangy said it was the Fry's) and directly across TS Road about 3/4 of a mile from Bill's Repair Shop. Bill's my Grandaddy and he had himself a car shop at the front of their property. It was great! It smelled like car grease, there were always a bunch of old men in there hanging out talking, and there was an old fridge in the back with cheese and pb cracker, a huge box of the BIG Super Bubble Bubble Gum and RC Cola. I loved that fridge! And, as a side note and something that makes my Beebs really really happy, Granny's house ain't far from Hannah Montana's house! Well, Gangy told me that my Grandaddy said that "they ain't gonna build that interstate in my lifetime!", and he was right! But it sure is there now! Even though I hate the song, it reminds me of "they paved paradise and put up a parking lot". I hate that song!

So, we have had several Christmas parties, family and otherwise, my church choir program, the girls' church choir program (Beebs was the Christmas Dove and Annie a Star Angel), Annie's school program (again an angel - do you see a pattern forming? - they don't see her at home:)), Beebs' school program, family Christmas with Ev's mama and his brothers fam. They have the sweetest kids, 13, 7 and 5! PRECIOUS kids and we got some really good pictures! We had our annual "Girls Christmas Lunch" at work, even though there are fewere of us this year (thank you Obama!) and we do Dirty Santa, where I got a fabulous necklace! Thanks LeLe! And Deb got my gift, which was also fabulous and I wanted to steal it from her for myself, but, it's a little tacky to steal your own gift. I guess, maybe not if you like it as much as I liked the cast iron reindeer!

Beebs and Annie can't wait for Santa. Hope they make it off the naughty list, ha ha! You know they are precious and are always on the nice list. Beebs, not so much tonight. How do you teach a kid to share when she is really just like you and doesn't want to let go of anything!?! God bless her, she is just like her mama, but I got it honest too (Grandmama)! Oh, and you know how a Nutcracker has long hair? Not so much anymore! Annie decided ours needed a crew cut! He looks AWESOME! Yeah, really:)! Beebs and Annie had their dance Christmas party today and Beebs' class was chosen to dance. She truly "rocked around the Christmas tree"!

Okay, so, Christmas self, while daydreaming about her former skinny(ish), salad eating, Corona Light drinking, air conditioner running, shower to shower under the boobs using, laundry souring, morning with Susie and Toby walking, with the girls pooling, tv on the deck watching self, is going to bake this week and get ready for Santa by watching a little Polar Express and definitely a lot of Clark Griswald! Merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight! God bless America (thank you Aunt Bethany)...

Hello Summer Self, I miss you! When will you be back?

Ahhh, the glorious days of Summer are gone and Fall (along with Fall self) are here. Lord help Fall self! I just realized today that she is way, way too busy. She might have over committed herself, maybe, just a hair. But, she's pushing through, barely. Fall self is sleepy and allergy ridden and has been to more birthday parties than you can shake a stick at. She hasn't been sitting by the pool with a nice cold Corona Light while watching the Beebs and Annie swim. Fall self really, really misses Summer self. Fall also means my birthday and yes, I turned 39. It was not an easy number for me. Summer self probably would have been fine, but where was she on that day? Oh yeah, she was still by the pool or on the beach in some nice tropical climate. God, I miss her!

On to the 2 reasons why I started this blog!

Annie turns 4 next week! She is so excited about her birthday party! So excited that she painted the bathroom with purple nail polish last Friday. Too bad it wasn't red. Then I could've thrown in a Dolly Parton quote from Steel Magnolias about painting her front door (bathroom) red and changing her name to Elizabeth Arden. But, it was purple, with a little green thrown in. I found the green behind the toilet tonight as I was scrubbing the toilet. We are taking her to Disney on Ice for her birthday and she is stoked!

Beebs is in full swing in 1st grade with lots of homework to boot. At least it seems like alot to sweet Summer self:)! She has a lively class and a sweet teacher. I think the "lively" class might just force our sweet young teacher to retire early. I, in Fall self mode, decided that it would be a good idea to be the co-room mom, what with all time I have on my hands and all...okay, I'm complaining again and don't mean to about co-room mom, because my heart is in it and after all, I only have to worry about the "Celebrations" and not the Field Trips! Thanks Jodi! I doubt if Jodi reads this, but just in case, thanks and G is precious! Beebs has a spelling test every Friday and has made an 11/10 on all but one or two. So proud!!! However, she does not like the homework! I took Beebs to see Miley Cyrus last Friday night. Still need to figure out how to post pics in this thing because I got a shot of her right as Miley came out and the look on her face was one of amazement. Miley was not Hannah, no, not at all! She was straight up Miley. I'm thinking the ropes that dropped during the "construction zone" scene could have been a sub for the stripper pole on the Teen Choice awards, but still, Beebs thought is was awesome and I haven't seen her doing the "stripper pole" dance, so all is good! Also, Miley's Daddy's house is literally around the corner from my Granny's house, so I know she is a good girl!

One more exciting event for my Beebs happened two weeks ago. So, when she was about 2 and learning to say her name (which is very long), it always came out Bebae. Well, I shortened it to Beebs and her Daddy loved that because that is also (or was) Gene Stallings nickname. Well, old Bebes (he spells his different) was in town doing a book signing and Daddy took her to meet him! She was SILENT (wish I could've witnessed that!). She was so excited, she couldn't speak. He told Daddy and Beebs how he got the nickname Bebes and Daddy told him how our Beebs got her nickname. I do love Gene Stallings, but I am an Auburn girl through and through. I mean, Weagle Weagle War Damn Eagle Kick 'Em in the Butt Big Blue!

Halloween is right around the corner and we have a scary witch with black hair and green face and a "Mermaid" Ariel with red hair to look forward to. Not the wedding dress Ariel (which we already owned), or the princess dress Ariel (which we already owned), no the mermaid Ariel (which we had to purchase). I'm tellin' ya, when a 3 year old gets her mind set on something, there is no changing it. That goes for a 6 year old too! Man, they are just like their mama.

Church is in full swing, and Jesus makes everything better, especially when I pray for patience on the way to work and when I get there my email Bible study title is "Be Gentle". Yes, the good Lord speaks directly to me.

Hopefully, Fall self will calm down soon and get back to "HER" thing: blogging and looking forward to finding her Summer self again! I know my sweet friend Susie is looking for Summer Susie too because we are Summer Self's together (a little shout to you sweet friend - love you!)

Happy Halloween y'all!

What? What happened? Where am I?

I think I got lost. I haven't posted in so long I almost forgot what to do. Here are a few isms from the Chapman's...all of us this time!

Earshopping: that's what Beebs was not doing when I was watching The Other Boleyn Girl. "Mommy, I'm not earshopping!" Get it? Eavesdropping.

With liberty and justice for all: The new end to Annie's version of The Lord's Prayer. Yes, she is learning the Pledge of Allegiance in 3K.

Cough, cough, cough: What Mommy has been doing for the last week and 1/2 since I started a cold, got the flu shot and went down REALLY quick! Note to self and you, don't get the flu shot when you think you might be getting sick, because it WILL kick your butt!

A vinegar bath, what?: Yeah, Daddy worked in the lime plant for the last two days and rinsed off with vinegar in the garage. Only a man would rinse with vinegar inside the house!

Rest In Jesus

Rest In Jesus

I have been looking for a daily Bible study so I can see, read and hear God's word daily in my life. I Googled "daily Bible study" and this is the first thing that popped up! This is exactly what I needed today!

Harry and Loomis Fargo

Well, today was filled with too much fun! We had two, yes two, birthday parties in one day. Thank God for 5 year old Sam's birthday party at Jump Zone because both of our girls were asleep by 8:00 pm on a Saturday night. This is usually the night they beg us to stay up late since there is no school, except for Sunday School, the next day and we usually let them, because we'd rather talk to each other on our lovely deck while sipping a cold one than listen to the bitching. I've told you before that I am not one for the bitching! But today, in spite of the birthday fun, Beebs got 3 strikes (and she was out! of TV watching, that is) and both of them were worn out. You gotta love a huge indoor slide for an hour and a half!

I'll get to Loomis Fargo after I tell you about Harry. Our precious little elementary school (that Daddy went to for 1st and 2nd grade), which is about 3 or 4 blocks from our house and which we love wildly, has a new rule, with sign posted and all, that is very adamant about not dropping your kids off in the back of the school. We dropped off in the back of the school last year, even though it was discouraged, but the sign wasn't posted last year. Now there is a sign! "Loading and Unloading of Buses ONLY!" We are following the rules, because as Daddy says, "How can you expect your kids to follow the rules if you don't?!?!?" So, Daddy has opted for walking Beebs to school. Hooray for them. A little one on one for Daddy and Beebs is always a good thing. So Thursday, they were walking to school and a big gold Silverado blew past them. Daddy tells Beebs, "There goes Harry." (Harry was dropping off his kid in the back of the school.) Beebs said, "Daddy, why is his name Harry? Is he really hairy?" Apparently she had never heard this name before and it struck as very very funny. She decided that day that when she has kids and one of them is a boy, she is going to name him Harry! Hopefully he won't break the rules and drop off at the back of the school to avoid carpool!

On to Loomis Fargo. We went to Lowe's today after the Jump Zone (again, thank you Lord for whoever invented Jump Zone because Annie was asleep in the 2 minutes it took to get to Lowe's). When we pulled in to park, the Loomis Fargo truck was there delivering $$$. Annie said, "Hey dere's de money truck Daddy told us about." Oh the excitement in two little toeheaded girls eyes to see the money truck (and Mommy's eyes were quite happy too!). So they went on, "Daddy says there's a guy in the back with a gun and if you try to break in and steal the money then he'll shoot you!" By this time the truck was driving by and I, standing with the toeheaded angels said, "Wave to the nice money man." We all waved and he waved back. As he was passing, I pointed out the rectangular window in the side of the truck with the small square window underneath it saying, "That small window is where the man in the back points the gun out to shoot you if you're trying to steal the money." Mouths gaping, they were still waving and he was waving back. Not his gun, of course, just a nice friendly Loomis Fargo wave. It reminded me of the Gatlin gun in 3:10 to Yuma (not my favorite movie, but that part stuck with me).

Only from the minds and "moufs" of children!

We are really on Jesus these days. What with the "Jesus wants you to share", "I no like Jesus", "Sissy, Jesus wants you share with me"... Our church routine is back in full swing (I know it shouldn't have slowed over the summer!). Anyway, Beebs asked me this afternoon what Jesus' last name is. Well, it's Christ, right? "Then, what is his middle name?", she wondered. Um, I replied, "Well, Jesus is God's son and I think they really just have one name each, except for the Holy Spirit." Which could have opened a whole new can of worms, but she decided, "Maybe I should just ask Mr. Pat (our pastor)." What a great idea! Ask Mr. Pat, he will know the answer!" How in the world do kids come up with some of the questions they ask?!?!

On to tornadoes. While getting ready for church this morning, Daddy and the girls were watching The Weather Channel to do a little research on the hurricanes that are forming. You know, Ana (big shocker), Bill and Claudette. You know they named the "A" hurricane after our precious little angel! Anyway, Daddy is reciting the hurricane forecast to me and all the girls hear is BAD WEATHER. Now, I know I haven't mentioned this before (or maybe I have), but part of our nightly routine before bedtime is a list of questions. A couple of the questions were contributed by our neighbor, Little N from The Solomon Story blog. Here goes and keep in mind that this is like a racquetball game, Beebs and Annie throwing out the questions and Daddy and I bouncing back the answers!

"No tornadoes tonight?"
"No!"
"No storms?"
"No!"
"No wind?"
"No rain?" (I think there is a song forming.)
"No mean cats?" (The mean cat across the street tries to terrorize June Kitty Cash, or the Killer as we like to call her. See "Mommy I found a Possum" post.)
"No witches?" (Too much Scooby Doo!)
"No falling off the swing?" (Little N)
"No falling off the seesaw?" (A new take on Little N's nightly questions.)
"No falling off the slide?" (Again, a new take on Little N.)
By this time, they are giggling, because they know we don't have a swing set with a slide, swing or seesaw! It's just a little parent torture.

But, I digress. Back to the hurricane forecast. (The previous questions do relate to how this conversation started, though.) So, Daddy is giving me the hurricane forecast and Beebs says, "Daddy, there is going to be a tornado?!?!?", using all the Drama Queen she can muster, which doesn't take much! Daddy replies, "Tornado did not come out of my mouth!" And Annie says, "Daddy, tornadoes don't come out of our moufs, do dey?" "No, Annie, tornadoes don't come out of our mouths!", Daddy replies while picking himself up off the floor!

Only from the minds and "moufs" of children!

Brownies and Jesus

Our Beebs had her bridging up ceremony today from Daisy Scouts to Brownies and if I ever figure out how to put pictures up, I'll post one. So, now she's a Brownie! Hooray! It was so sweet with the story of why they are called Brownie's by our Troop Leader. Beebs even looked for her reflection, like in the story, in a puddle on the sidewalk. So, she was listening.

Annie, well, I think she is loving Jesus now. I heard her telling Beebs a couple of days ago that "Jesus really wants you to share with me!" She might not have gotten the gist of what I was saying, but she sure did use it on Beebs!

They hear more than we think they do!

And, oh the joy of the school bell ringing. Life is back to routine and both angels were asleep by at least 8:30 every night this week. Good Lord, I love a routine!

"I no like Jesus, Mommy" and big tutu's

How funny is my Annie! She had a fit tonight (a napmat fit as we call it) over not getting the Princess plate and instead getting the yellow plate. So, really, how funny is a 3 year old! Why is it so important which plate you get? Beebs doesn't really care, but she never gets to pick, so tonight Daddy let her pick. In the middle of the napmat fit, I sat down on Annie's bed and held her in my lap to explain to her the concept of sharing with Sissy. I said, "Sissy never gets to pick because you always get to pick which plate you want." You know, good parenting. I don't find myself good parenting alot because I'd rather not hear the bitching! As the napmat fit went on, I pulled out my Jesus card. "You know Annie, Jesus wants us to share, that's what the Bible is trying to teach us." To which Annie replied, "I no like Jesus!"

"But Jesus loves you!" I went on.

"I no like Jesus." Annie couldn't stop herself.

At that point, I had to stop and laugh. I looked to my right, because that always seems to be where Jesus is sitting in my world, and said to him, "You know that's funny!"

He was dying laughing! You know the three of them think we are hilarious!

On to Beebs. Her 1st grade teacher called me yesterday before the class lists are even posted because she wants to do reading assessments before school starts. The Teach is so sweet! God help her because Beebs' BFF, EG, is in the same 1st grade class and her "boyfriend" from her Kindergarten class is in there too. Anyway, Teach told me that Beebs and EG "will be sitting on opposite sides of the room". EG's mom had already talked to Teach and given her the rundown of the BFF situation. Kindergarten boyfriend is the precious angel that had to break up with Beebs because he wanted the girl with the "big tutu" to be his new girlfriend. Let me explain. Beebs takes dance from Kindergarten boyfriend's mom. We walk to dance alot because it's only minutes from our house. One dance day last year, Beebs and I were walking to dance. Actually, I was carrying her on my back. But, she began to tell me the story of how K boyfriend broke up with her. I asked her why and she replied, "he likes the girl at dance with the big tutu." Well, I was mortified, because we call our privates a tutu. I said, "Beebs, why are you and K boyfriend talking about tutu's?" She said, "I know Mommy, how does K boyfriend know what a tutu is? I guess it's because of his sisters." We immediately (with Beebs on my back and running) arrived at the dance studio so I could tell K B's mom what Beebs had just told me. And, she too was mortified because I mentioned how we call the privates tutus...

A few days later K B's mom figured it out. Our friend, Slick, has a daughter who is in K B's sisters' dance class, and her Grandmama had made her a new BALLET TUTU for Christmas and that is what K B was talking about. Imagine my surprise! Beebs had just introduced K B to tutus, and not the ballet kind! Luckily, he didn't know that Beebs knew something else could be called a tutu and he was only thinking of ballet. Thank God his mother is a dance teacher!

So, for a wrap up of the beginning of the week, my kids are the luckiest girls in the world! They have the best Daddy, which is something I am not sure I've ever experienced. They have gone fishing and swimming in the lake at the state park. Yuck! They have dusted my entire house, because Daddy made them do it! Thanks Daddy! Although, there is Pledge all over the floor because they really really like to spray. We have to be really careful to not rush over the hardwoods for fear that we might bust it. And today, they have wrestled with Daddy, fished at the neighborhood lake and gone to the pool with Mommy and Daddy. Luckily, we got there 10 minutes before courtesy break and Daddy and I actually were able to swim by ourselves during courtesy break. Oh the fun of watching your kids walk (no running at the pool) around the pool deck to sit on the side close to where you are (you know, the permanently up your butt thing) and then move really quickly away! We love to mess with our kids! I think that is Daddy and my favorite passtime!

We are movin' and shakin'

Man, we have been all over the place. As my friend over at the Psych Ward said, I have taken a blogging holiday, or a blogiday! My Beebs went to golf and tennis camp week before last, which she loved. The whole week she was there, she would call and ask when Daddy and I were coming because she was at my Mom's (they live in a golf community at the beach, poor them!). Anyway, we finally get there after not seeing our precious almost 7 year old and she blows us off because she is standing with all of her new friends from camp. I mean REALLY? Can you already act like that at 7? She and Annie had talked on the phone every day and Annie wandered around aimlessly without someone to play with. You know, sometimes that second kid will push you right over the edge of the cliff, what with the fighting and biting and book throwing and, well surely you get the picture, but I am so glad they have each other! By the way, the fighting, biting and book throwing all started about 20 minutes into their long awaited reunion!

My friend over at Beauty and the Bates asked me yesterday why I hadn't posted my pictures from the beach yet. Well, of course, we left the camera at home. It's really hard to get out of our house! I think there is some kind of vaccum effect that literally won't let us leave and if we do, it sucks back in some of the most important things we need to take with us. Luckily, Hemmer made it to the beach with us buckled in all nice and snug right next to Annie!

That has been the last week and a half of my life. That and the counting down of days until school starts back. My house literally looks like a train wreck! I think that lima bean is still in my hall floor. I still haven't finished the project of painting my armoire, but Daddy insisted that we go ahead and move it back into the bedroom with out the doors on and without any drawer pulls. No, we cannot get the drawers open! I already have two, make that ten, new projects planned. My goal last week was to clean out the pantry because my cook (Daddy) put a bag of potatos in the top part and they rotted. When I picked up the bag, something disgusting was dripping out of the bag. Now see, that is why I don't cook. I left Daddy home with the girls today with specific instructions to clean up the downstairs, which has a couple of blanket tents that have been there for about five days, some wet bathing suits laying on the carpet, no telling how many juice cups... You get the picture, it's time for school to start back and get these people out of my house!

Since I am rambling, I will sign off, right after a couple of the latest Annieisms and my favorite Beebs quote of the week.

"Why God makes your poo poo come out?" (at least she did it on the potty)

"Mommy, these are my tattoos!" (at least it was ball point pen and not Sharpie, this time)

"Daddy, I don't think I want to go fishing again today. Can you just take us to the pool?" (that's my Beebs, boo fishing, yea chlorine!)

I love a good sale!

Friday afternoon I thought it would be lots of fun to take Beebs and Annie to the mall...ride the carousel, a promise of a $5 or less prize from the Disney store, and some type of food treat. That all goes back to one of the questions from the Chapman castle, and yes, I am the crazy person that gave her children too much sugar on Friday afternoon, which is probably the reason I was "flusterated", a Beebs word, when we left the mall. That and the fact that I tried on bathing suits, because I am so tired of wearing the same one day after day to the pool, beach, grocery store, Lowe's. I always wear a cover up at the store. Anyway, I found two suits at Macy's after trying on maybe 1200! I now have buyer's remorse because the 25% sale on the suits at Macy's still made them about $75. I wore one and I love it and wouldn't trade it! The other one, not so much. I decided before I even left the store that I shouldn't have bought it and I am taking it back today. Yesterday I was talking to my friend, Roaming the Halls, and she told me to look at one of her fav websites for a swim suit, because she had gotten one there. It reminded me that I had found several that I liked earlier in the summer at Newport News, but I never pay full price, so I was waiting for them to go on sale. Then, RTH says, "Beauty and the Bates taught me to always look for a coupon code when buying something online!" That Ashley, she's a bargain hunter. Anyway, I found my few bathing suits (can't tell ya how many, b/c Daddy might read this), used my 20% off coupon code which saved me $18.60 and my free shipping code which still cost me $15 b/c I had to have them express shipped, and paid the same amount for my FEW bathing suits as I paid for one at Macy's. I was so happy with myself that I might just have to tell Daddy about that one! On second thought, "Oh honey, I've had these!" Thanks mom for teaching me right!

Moral of the story, buy online because you won't get "flusterated" at the mall and you can find huge savings! I love a good sale!!!

Questions from the Castle

Well, as I have told you before, strange things happen in our little castle. Here are some questions to ponder from my week...

There are most likely only two answers, Beebs or Annie. See how many you can get right!

Why is there a lima bean in my hall floor?

Why did someone pee on the pool deck during swim lessons tonight?

Who is awesome and passed her swim test this week?

Who has gone off the diving board at least 4000 times after passing her swim test?

Who thinks that hot pink shorts with black lightning bolts on them match a light blue shirt with a kitty on it and actually wore it to school?

Who had to have the shampoo rinsed out of her hair with the kitchen sink sprayer after lotion was applied and pajamas put on because she didn't rinse her hair after washing it? Picture that one...Daddy holding her horizontally over the sink so as not to get the pajamas wet and me trying to spray the hair of a squirmy worm.

Who goes to the desk at the pool just about every time we are there for a bandaid?

Who decorated my coffee cup with half a box of Sponge Bob bandaids and a few princess stickers?

Who knocked my plant off the fireplace hearth while performing one of three shows in a night?

Why do we have three shows a night in our living room?

Who has worn "high heels" all week with every outfit and begged to wear them to school?

Who wore tall black boots with a Dora bathing suit, a silver belt and a beach hat to take Hemmer for a walk this evening? (I must figure out how to post the pic from my cell phone because it is hilarious!)

Why did I pack a bag for Hemmer to go to school today but I didn't pack one for Annie?

Who had a doughnut, a succer, cotton candy and a milkshake all within three hours this afternoon?

Who is the crazy person that gave her children all that sugar?

Who can't wait for a mini vacation next week? That would be me!

Who won't shut up while I'm trying to type this blog? That would not be either of my children! I hope they are close to sweet slumber.

Mommy, I found a possum...

We play outside alot in our neighborhood. In the sixteen houses on our street live 20 kids. So, today, as the girls are riding their bikes and playing together (surprisingly) on the streeet because no one else was out, Beebs yells to Ev and me (on the front porch enjoying our fav beverage, beer), "Mommy and Daddy, I found a possum."

"Oh good for you," we say not thinking anything of it. Now, there is a clear plastic cup laying in the yard (and no, we're not white trash) because I forgot to bring it in Wednesday. The angels keep on riding their bikes and pushing Hemmer and Josephine (another story for another day) in their kid size buggies up and down from Mrs. Sandy's mailbox to Mrs. Jenn's mailbox because that's as far as they are allowed to go. Beebs keeps on bragging about the possum, to which we reply, "Yeah, a possum, that's so cool," still not thinking anything about it. Mr. Strong comes by with Charlie the dog and we chit chat, all the while the possum comments still flying around.

Then, in the blink of an eye, both girls are standing on the front porch with clear plastic cup full of what looks like leaves and dirt and nothing else in hand, saying, "Daddy, we're taking care of the possum, look, we gave him some dirt and leaves so he'll feel at home." Daddy, acting interested takes the clear plastic cup from Beebs and says, "Holy (something) there's a creature in there!"

Ev, Mr. Strong and I all take a closer look into the clear plastic cup. I'm thinking, "Holy (something) my precious angel has picked up a nasty animal!" Not a fan of a nasty animal. Inside the clear plastic cup we all three see tiny pink feet and gray fur. Lord help me, it's a freaking mole. Beebs has picked up a freaking mole and put it in a clear plastic cup with dirt and leaves. I thought for a second it might be a shrew because big cat, June Kitty Cash, kills them all the time and leaves them in the garage right below the laundry chute for me. But, no, it was a mole, just like in some children's book we have with a sweet little mole in it. But these little you know whaters will dig up all the beautiful grass and flowers we have worked so hard on. He is the ENEMY!

Daddy tells Beebs that our new little possum/mole friend would be a nice treat for June Kitty Cash. So, the angels take off to find her and present her with a gift. At this point, we are telling Mr. Strong goodbye. The angels are at the bottom of the driveway out of our sight calling for Junebug. As we turn the corner from the sidewalk onto the driveway we see Beebs pouring the contents of the "mole cup" over the fence to Josey Wales, the huge Lab Rottwieler mix baby dog that we love. By the way, he kills possum for fun!

Beebs has been checking on "that thang" as she is calling it. It's still kicking, but, at least Josey has a new toy which will end up like all of his other toys, shredded. Mr. Mole isn't dead yet, but at least we haven't done anything with the back yard yet so he (the enemy) can't tear it up. It should be an interesting evening at the Chapman castle.

"Take that Sharpie away from her..." my mother said

as we were talking on the phone and Annie was telling me that she was going to use it for her tattoo. Life is funny, you know. You have this picture in your mind of how life will be with children, then you have these precious wonderful (insane) children who write on themselves with Sharpies over and over and over again. Think about June Cleaver for a minute. I am the exact opposite! As we were putting on our swim suits to go to the pool after dinner because Daddy wasn't home yet, I was DONE, and the children needed something to tire them out besides Benadryl, I looked around and realized that my house is an absolute disaster. Plus the fact that I am 38 years old and my mother still loves to tell me what to do. I understand though and I know that someday I'll do the same thing. Love you Mom!

Anyway, back to the Sharpie. It is now and always has been a black Sharpie. A fat one, a fine point, a medium point, but definitely permanent. It's been on her lips. "I use dat as lipstick, Mommy," she told me the first time. "Look I make you floors pretty," another. Legs, bathroom counters, walls, paper (my personal favorite because I can throw it away), and my dining room table, to name a few. Sorry Granny. It was only a small dot on the dining room table and it is still just as beautiful as the day you gave it to me! Just think of it this way Granny, someday we can look at the table and remember, well probably not dinner, but Annie writing on it with a Sharpie. I really should just throw them all out and believe me, I've tried, but they reappear. They are like, well I can't think of anything that reappears all the time right now, but whatever reappears, that's what Sharpies are in the Chapman castle.

Then there's Beebs. Good Lord I love that child. As I'm carrying Annie through the kitchen to her room (and she's screaming at the top of her lungs because she wants me to carry her), Daddy says, "What's wrong with her?" To which I reply, "She doesn't want to walk, she wants me to carry her to her D-A-M-N bed." (I was spelling that out for him so the children wouldn't be screaming damn at day school tomorrow). So, Beebs says, "I know you just said damn." I think she just wanted to say it, but curse learning to spell!

Now as I sit on the deck reflecting on my day (and working on my fav Corona Light), I realize that, oh here they come again. GET IN THE DAMN BED! But I'm only screaming it in my mind...this time!

Ark and Eben

I taught the girls The Lord's Prayer and listen to them say it each night before they lay in their beds and play and get up 500 times after we've asked (yelled at them) not to and eventually go to sleep.

Here's their version, with a few lines from each Beebs and Annie, which I love and I'm sure when God hears it he gets a kick out of it. You know he has a great sense of humor (I mean look at us!)...

Annie: (these are just a few lines from Annie that I love, not her whole prayer) "Fadder ark and eben; on earth and eben; gibe us debts gibe us debtors" (Presbyterians say debts and debtors, not the other way)

Beebs: She says the whole thing perfectly, except "delete us from temptation". We all need to be deleted from temptation!

Rainy Days and Monday's - but I'm not down

Well, this is my first post, so I'll give you a run down of the last week and maybe you'll figure out how a day in the life usually goes.

I was walking in the front door on Thursday and looked to my left as I was passing through the doorway. There it was, the face of Abe Lincoln, glued to the door frame, which led me to my new saying, "You know you live with Annie when...". So, you know you live with Annie when you find a penny glued to your door frame. "How did that get there," I say. "I do dat, Mommy," Annie answers.

Soon after, we were speeding down the front sidewalk on the toddler riding toy (which neither child really fits on anymore), which is part of our outside routine. I was watching and thinking, it's amazing that neither one has ever fallen off and hurt something really badly! Never think things like that, because then they happen. Sure enough, Beebs fell of and skinned her knee REALLY BADLY! Then she fell at Aunt Dena's pool the next day and skinned the same spot and I think at some point throughout the weekend, she did it again. She thinks Neosporin hurts and would not let me get close to her with it. So, I did what any good mother would do, I waited until she fell asleep and put the Neosporin and a band aid on it. Those were Beebs' 4th of July injuries. I got stung by a bee on the middle finger (I would show you if I could) on the 3rd. That's about the extent of my 4th injuries, besides the trauma my body suffered after participating in the Slip 'n Slide with my kids. Trust me, you really shouldn't do anything like that after a certain age! I realized that day that I am actually getting old. Annie, surprisingly, suffered minor injuries over our short holiday break. Very unusual for the messes she gets into. She did sleep all night in the tent in the back yard with Daddy on the 4th and was very excited about camping (she didn't get that from me, but I'm working on it).

Speaking of Daddy, his forehead is finally clearing up after his acrobats in the neighborhood pool - the very shallow end that is. He decided to show Beebs a back flipped and skinned his forehead. The scab has brought great laughter to my life for the past week! Beebs kept saying, "I told him he should go to the deep end, Mommy, but he didn't listen!"

So, I guess you get that we are all kind of clumsy and accident proned. Everett usually isn't, but he's had his share lately. Annie is usually the worst of us all, what with getting her finger stuck in the syrup bottle and her head stuck in her potty seat (very funny)! She brings great laughter into our lives too.

Beebs has taken to giving strikes to grown ups lately. You know, three strikes your out. That's how we go about punishment. She gave two to Nahnie (Dana) last night and hasn't even told her about it. The thing is though, and I told her, "You can't give Nahnie strikes for saying two bad words when you were eavesdropping on our phone conversation." This morning she was rambling about something Grandmama and I were talking about on the phone 2 weeks ago. Apparently, Elizabeth Rae is quite the Nosy Nelly!

I could go on and on, but I will leave you with this for now, yes, our blog name is from Queen's "We are the Champions" and we do sing it we are the Chapman's because that is what Everett did as a kid!