The Napmat Fit

Dear Daddy (and all other Daddies, husbands, brothers, future husbands...), I do understand your struggles with the gals in your life. We are only happy when things go our way. Why just today I told my good friend Dee that Daddy doesn't understand that my plan is the best plan, always, end of story. But, please try to understand the hormonal shifts that are ingrained within us. Why, we are born with all of the eggs that our ovaries will produce throughout our lifetime. We go through puberty and bleed from strange places. Some of us take hormones to help us have babies and then again when all of the period madness stops and the menopause starts. We carry babies in our bodies for 40 weeks and then GIVE BIRTH to them. GIVE BIRTH to them (I had to say that one more time, because we GIVE BIRTH to them as in birthing, you know, watermelon through a nostril, birth). Then we breast feed those precious angels and our boobs hang really low and sad. The only thing left to hold them up is the stretch marked belly that held that precious angel baby. Thank God for the belly! Anyway, Daddy's, husbands, brothers, future husbands..., here's a little story to help you through the madness of living with girls. And remember, we are VERY LOVING (especially when we get our way).

When our sweet precious Beebs was just a tiny tot, she had what we lovingly refer to now as a "napmat" fit. Let me fill you in...Beebs was 2 and moving into the nap room and out of a Pack and Play. Huge step for us all. So, I took her to Penney's and let her choose a napmat for day care. We picked a pretty pink one with hearts and diamonds on it. We brought it home and she proudly showed it off to Daddy. Then, as we put her to bed that night, and keep in mind that she was two and not really showing signs of The Terrible Twos yet, she had the mother of all fits...the NAPMAT fit! She sounded like Linda Blair in The Exorcist. "NAPMAT! I WANT MY NAPMAT!" She said it over and over and over and, well I'm sure you understand. It went on for a while and Daddy and I stood and stared at her then one another, then back at her, then back at each other with the look of "this child is possessed and what in the #@!& do we do with her!" I'm not really sure what happened after that, because sometimes a mother must block those fits from her mind. I'm sure we didn't give in though. I think we probably did what I did tonight and walked out closing the door behind us, because as this mommy likes to say, "no one wants to hear you acting like that". Except tonight, she's not 2, she's SEVEN AND A HALF and she wanted to stay up later than 8:30, except, she has been up until 10:30 or later for the past two weeks and she is worn out. So, she wasn't getting her way. Again, as the mommy in this case, my plan is always the best plan, end of story!

Anyway, I did what any good mother would do. I got the video camera. Of course the battery was dead, but she didn't know that. I opened the screen and acted as if I was filming her. I know what you're thinking, "Dang that's a good momma!", but wait...there's more. She flipped out when she realized I was "filming" her and begged me not to show it to anyone. To which I replied, "Oh, I'm just filming this to send in to Nanny 911."

"You can't let her come get me," she was really scared now (insert evil laugh here).

"Of course not, I'm just going to show her this video and see if she has any ideas on how to deal with napmat fits since you and Annie seem to have them ALOT lately!"

"You can't show that video to any of my friends!" Of course with the typing, the Linda Blair doesn't quite come through, so just play it out in your mind.

"Why, Beebs, are you ashamed of the way you are acting?"

"Yes and if my friends saw it, I would be so embarrassed!"

"Perhaps you should think about that before you have another napmat fit then."

Keep in mind, Annie and I were laughing the whole time. Annie just kept dying laughing, which made me laugh even harder. Now usually I would yell back, but I was extremely calm and Annie kept laughing. I really surprised myself.

I only wish that video camera would have worked so I could show her that video tomorrow. I'm going to charge it right now so I can video the next napmat fit. I think I'm onto something here!