My onion letter (with an orchid note)...

A few years back, I read an article (I wish I could remember where, but I found a blog post about it here) about an onion letter and an orchid letter. I think it was written by a flight attendant and she told the dif between the two. The airline would get good letters and bad letters. The good were titled "orchid letters" and the bad, "onion letters". This is my take on an onion letter for all of you bloggers that might be interested!

Why is it when you go to a fast food restaurant (Chick-Fil-A last night) they insist that you get a medium drink with the Combo that you order? I'm just sayin'...

My sweet angels now like to order off of the "adult" menu at CFA. They no longer want the nuggets, but the chicken sandwich. Last night we had a treat for dinner. We had CFA. As I'm giving (screaming) my order over the loudspeaker, I requested a small lemonade with both "Combo #1's". The reply was, "Ma'am, the combos come with a medium drink."

"Okay," I answered.

But, why? Can't I just get what I want? After all, they are in the customer service industry sort of. I mean they are precious friendly people, really they are. But, I have two small children who have two small bladders and they will keep Daddy and me up all night with a MEDIUM lemonade. I.JUST.WANT.A.SMALL!!!!

Then, today I had to go to the FedEx store. Now, keep in mind that it is the FEDEX store. I didn't have the account number with me, but this shouldn't be a problem, because I'm at the FEDEX store. "Sir, I don't have the account number, could you look it up for me?" No, I don't have access to that information. How does the FEDEX store not have my FEDEX information. It is the FEDEX store, right? Then, he couldn't ring up my paper purchase at his register because his register was only for FEDEX SHIPPING. Again, can't find my shipping account number at the register/computer that was for FEDEX SHIPPING, and now, he can't take my money. Double whammy! I remembered as I stood there waiting for him to wrap my package (which took 30 minutes, but I did thank him for doing such a nice job), this is why I switched to UPS! So, the FedEx shipping experience was only used in a dire situation! That makes me wonder why there is no UPS Store within reach that I can use...should I write an onion letter about that?

Are all companies this difficult? I run into it all the time with my job. My job is to make a person's life easier. I do a really good job at that (patting self on back now). My boss and I are Colonel Potter and Radar. Isn't making life easier what these "customer service" oriented businesses are supposed to be about? I do it, why can't they?

I know, it's a soapbox, but does anybody hear the pleas of the simple American Mommy/Wife/Executive Assistant?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

On an orchid note, I had to contact my credit card company today and they were simply delightful! I cannot say enough about how pleasant and helpful Ms. Gonzalez was as well as Marcus. They were both so helpful and so kind! Thank you to them both!

Limos, The Hulk and Rattles, oh my...

As you may or may not know, I started this blog to keep family and friends up to date on all things Beebs and Annie (my two precious angels). So, here are a few outtakes from the last few weeks of life with words and sayings that only come from the "moufs" of my babes (should I change the blog name to that or what?)

Limos:
Annie after a big storm we had a few weeks ago..."Mommy, should I go out in the yard and pick up all the 'LIMOS'?" You know, the limbs! Beebs wasted no time in correcting her, by the way. Like she knows what she's talking about, hence the Hulk.

Hulk:
Beebs going to work with me last week..."Mommy, there's the Statue of Liberty!" They get so excited about it and I hardly even notice it after 15 years of passing it daily. "Yep Beebs, she's facing downtown where her home was 20 years ago," I replied. "Mommy, do you think she's looking at the Hulk?" Beebs asked. "The Hulk? What in the world are you talking about?" I questioned. "You know, her boyfriend, the Hulk! The big statue with his butt (yes she said butt mother) showing!" she answered. "Ohhhhhhhh, you mean Vulcan! Yes, I think she's looking at Vulcan, who is her boyfriend, but not the Hulk, who turns green and his clothes rip off when he's mad." Yes people, only from the moufs of babes!

Rattles:
Yeah, rattles. Well, we had a mouse (most likely a rat, but Daddy didn't want to freak me out too bad), that lived in our walls last winter. We could hear him scratching around inside the walls day and night. All I could picture was Jerry from "Tom and Jerry" making that little arch shaped hole in the wall so he could come out at night and get something from the fridge. Anyway, Annie was laying (rolling around like a wild idiot) on our bed the other day and we heard something. I can't remember exactly what it was now, but I'm pretty sure it was Daddy messing around in the garage. I do know that it wasn't the mouse/rat because I'm pretty sure it's not in the hot attic or walls during the hottest time of the year! Anyway (again), I told Annie to hush (shut her big fat mouth - not really, but only in the minds of Mommies) so we could figure out what the noise was. Please note that she (and Beebs and Daddy) talks non-freaking-stop and I haven't been able to hear myself think through the major part of my thirties, aka post-kid! After the whole shushing thing, Annie said (in her non-freaking-stop talking kind of way), "Hey Mommy, I fink de Rattle is back." Yes folks, she was talking about the mouse/rat. Apparently, Daddy told them it was a rat. Hmmmm, maybe that's why they won't go downstairs by themselves...

I'm tellin' y'all, only from the moufs of babes!

My happy place...

Thank you Rhoda at Southern Hospitality! You are an inspiration! I first saw Rhoda's staircase redo over at The Lettered Cottage. My stairs had been in a world of hurt for quite a while. You see, they are hardwood, but had been stained in, oh, 1963 or 1964 when our house was built. Then, they had a weird rubber old lady runner thing on them, then they had been covered in carpet, which was absolutely, ridiculously disgusting when we moved in and I was 6 months pregnant. Note to self and all those in blog world, please don't EVER move when you are pregnant, especially if your "new" old house has 1960's paneling and carpeted stairs!!! I cried and I cried and I cried and I almost made Daddy cry when I said, "I think we bought the wrong house!" on the day we closed. But, ugly 1960's paneling is something that can be beautified with a little paint, Praise the Good Lord, and thank Him for great parents who paint because you can't/shouldn't when you are 6 months pregnant!!! But, I digress. So, here are my stairs to begin with...

So, yes, quite hideous! I know you are asking yourself, "Why, why in the world have you lived with this for 5 LOOOOONNNNNGGGGG years?" Well, let me just tell you that they were carpeted when we moved in. We had all the carpeting replaced (it was nasty and was an absolute requirement from an insane pregnant woman who asked Daddy to dig up Jasper the Cat that we had buried in the back yard of our last precious home to move him to the back yard of our new/old home so he would still be with us...another story for another day). The stairs were carpeted when we bought the house, so we assumed we would just replace the carpet on the stairs as well. Bing, bang, boom and DONE. Not so fast! When the carpet layers (also puller uppers) took the carpet off the stairs, they realized that the "down" stairs were hardwood just like the "up" stairs. We live in a split foyer home (I swore I would never live in a split foyer home because they were TOO dark, but I do love our home, and I knew it would be our home the minute we walked in, pink walls, 1960's tile, hideous wallpaper, paneling and all). Again, digressing. The moral of that whole story is, don't listen to Daddy when he says, "Don't let them put carpet on the stairs! I'll refinish them since they are hardwood." Yeah, that didn't happen and I wasn't holding my breath after 5 years. Love you my precious hubby, but you are a bit behind on the DIY's:)!

Almost 5 years and many blog and Google searches later, I came across Rhoda's stair redo on The Lettered Cottage. Okay friends, now we are up to speed. I do love me some background so you can get the gist of everything...

So, I went to Lowe's and got some Crown NEXT Paint Strip environmentally friendly paint and varnish stripper (and installed myself a pole...ha ha) and got to work. Here's how my steps looked after the stripper (pole and all...ha ha)...


First, let me emphasize the importance of safety goggles. No, they don't particularly work when you have them on your head! Yes friends, I had them holding back my hair that was hanging in my eyes blocking my view of properly "STRIPPING" my stairs. As you can imagine, I flung some of the paint stripper in my eye and had to flush for 15 (3) minutes and throw away my brand new pair of disposable contacts. Oh, I was fine! It was just a little and I still have my eyesight 2 weeks later. So, I know, right, the stairs are still crappy, but my toenails look pretty in the picture! Daddy was still hanging on to the whole "I'll refinish them" thing. I'm thinking that would require a professional, which we are not! Sorry Daddy, you're a pro at a lot of stuff, but...

Next, I primed, and even the primer made me so happy! I also primed the wall/paneling around each riser and tread where there was no primer or paint due to it being painted before the old carpet was pulled up 5 years earlier. Oh, and did I mention that I did all of this when my two crazy kids were at the beach with my Mommy (shout out to Mommy who loves it when her 30-something daughter calls her Mommy - and she is the greatest Mommy in the world - overboard? maybe a little). Anyway, she took my kids away so I could ACTUALLY complete a project, so I gotta give her what she wants, my Mommy that is:)! And, drum roll please, here are my steps primed...

Lovely, right. Once the primer was dry, I set out with my Valspar Porch and Floor paint in "something" black (can't remember the exact name and the paint is downstairs and I'm not getting up to walk down there now even though I would like to see my pretty stairs, what with all this talk about them). Please note that I do tend to get paintbrush happy whenever I am holding one in my hands. I had the bright idea, which came back to haunt me later, that the parquet entry floor should be black too. I just tested it out a little. I'd love to show you, but it might ruin the finished product picture I have saved up. Let me just say that Daddy didn't like it. As a matter of fact, he said, "Why'd you paint the foyer floor?" As in, you crazy, paint brush-holding woman, step away from the paint can and put DOWN the brush! That brush happy mistake only took an HOUR to SCRAPE off.

So, after many (kidless) hours of working on my stairs, a little "stripper" in the eye, some scraping due to "brush-happy" hands, lots of primer and a little porch and floor paint from Lowe's, here is my finished product...

Oh, and I painted the end posts and railings too (told you I am brush happy), but left the spindles white. That small touch updated the entire area. I am telling you that my entry way is now a happy place to be! I also had a pedicure in the midst of all of this and picked out a fabulous purple called "Can You Dig It" by OPI.

Let me also mention that I found the cutest, most precious half round table that is perfect for my foyer, along with a great iron candle stick and a green cross as accessories at The French Flea. And here is a picture of that...


Thanks for stopping by to see my stair redo that was totally inspired by Southern Hospitality!

I still have some molding to add and some paint touch up to do and maybe a poly top coat to add that will help with the crazy kids scuffing it all up, but for now, I am in my happy place!

The Eiffel Tower and Lillian's

Summer Rose (previous post) is sad, cause it's all officially coming to an end this week! No more sleeping late, no more staying up late, and the week of QUIET has officially ended. Yes, my precious Mama and Papa took my kids home with them last week and let me just tell you that they had a blast!!! They were at the beach for an entire week! What kid could ask for more? Of course, the wild woman came down with a horrible Strep Rash one day in and Mama had to find a pediatrician close to home who confirmed the illness. Then, Mama caught the same highly contagious rash, with a vengeance! Love you Mommy!!! Thank the Good Lord Beebs and Papa didn't get it. The rash didn't stop them from having a good time (sorry to those of you that went to see Toy Story 3 at the same time, went to the indoor pool at the same time, and the kids' fav restaurant at the same time). Nope, you can't stop Mama from having a good time...

On the day when Mama's rash was the worst, Papa took the girls to the Naval Museum, which they absolutely loved! Not sure if they loved the Naval Museum as much as they loved hanging with Papa for an entire day, but it was cool! After the Naval Museum, Papa took them to a real lighthouse. They climbed (seriously, lots of stairs) all the way to the top. They were about 10 steps from the top when they came across a little guy (Beebs says he was going into 1st grade, although I'm not sure how she knew that what with all the crying he was doing) he was freaking out about going back down the stairs. Papa secretly freaked out at this point, cause he thought this was going to make the girls freak out! When I asked them later if they got scared when they saw how scard the little boy was, Beebs said, "No, he just made my head hurt because he was soooooooooooo loud!" I'm telling you, only from the moufs of babes! Anyway, they called me that night to fill me in on the days events, and I got to talk to Annie first. Annie's gig on the phone is, "Mommy, I need to tell you sumfin." To which I always reply, "Okay, tell me."

This time, what she told me made me laugh out loud and almost fall on the floor! "Mommy, we climbed de Eiffel Tower today!"

"You did what? I didn't know Papa took you all the way to Paris!"

Then, I hear Mama in the background, "No, Annie, you went to a lighthouse." I guess in a four year old mind, a lighthouse with all its stairs is kind of like the Eiffel Tower. But, how in the world does she know what the Eiffel Tower is? It's gotta be a Disney Channel thing...

We finally, after the quietest week EVER, arrived to gather up the children and spend one night with my precious Mama and Papa before heading to our old stomping ground, which is my dad's beach place! We had a great time with Mama and Papa (aka, Mr. Old Fashioned, which is my blog shout out to Papa - "that's what I'm talkin about RIGHT THERE! - love you Pops). Anyway, we had a fun little family mini-vacay with the kids! We took them to eat at Lillian's Pizza, which is one of our all time fav's!!! It used to sit right on the beach, until one of the hurricanes knocked it OUT! Anyway, they rebuilt, but this time, across the street from the beach. Still great food (and wine), but across the street. As we were pulling in, Daddy was showing the girls where it used to be before the hurricane. To which Beebs promptly replied, "Did the hurricane move it across the street?" Ahhh, I'm telling you, only from the moufs of babes!

Again, see the previous post about the things that come out of my babes "moufs". It's truly the reason I write this blog! They crack me up daily!

So, to sum it up, Summer Rose is happy about the fun we had this summer and so happy that it ended on a happy note! This post is just a little reminder of how much fun we had with Mama and Papa. Thanks y'all! This one's for you two lovebirds and the best grandparents two (or seven) little ones could ever ask for!!!

The Napmat Fit

Dear Daddy (and all other Daddies, husbands, brothers, future husbands...), I do understand your struggles with the gals in your life. We are only happy when things go our way. Why just today I told my good friend Dee that Daddy doesn't understand that my plan is the best plan, always, end of story. But, please try to understand the hormonal shifts that are ingrained within us. Why, we are born with all of the eggs that our ovaries will produce throughout our lifetime. We go through puberty and bleed from strange places. Some of us take hormones to help us have babies and then again when all of the period madness stops and the menopause starts. We carry babies in our bodies for 40 weeks and then GIVE BIRTH to them. GIVE BIRTH to them (I had to say that one more time, because we GIVE BIRTH to them as in birthing, you know, watermelon through a nostril, birth). Then we breast feed those precious angels and our boobs hang really low and sad. The only thing left to hold them up is the stretch marked belly that held that precious angel baby. Thank God for the belly! Anyway, Daddy's, husbands, brothers, future husbands..., here's a little story to help you through the madness of living with girls. And remember, we are VERY LOVING (especially when we get our way).

When our sweet precious Beebs was just a tiny tot, she had what we lovingly refer to now as a "napmat" fit. Let me fill you in...Beebs was 2 and moving into the nap room and out of a Pack and Play. Huge step for us all. So, I took her to Penney's and let her choose a napmat for day care. We picked a pretty pink one with hearts and diamonds on it. We brought it home and she proudly showed it off to Daddy. Then, as we put her to bed that night, and keep in mind that she was two and not really showing signs of The Terrible Twos yet, she had the mother of all fits...the NAPMAT fit! She sounded like Linda Blair in The Exorcist. "NAPMAT! I WANT MY NAPMAT!" She said it over and over and over and, well I'm sure you understand. It went on for a while and Daddy and I stood and stared at her then one another, then back at her, then back at each other with the look of "this child is possessed and what in the #@!& do we do with her!" I'm not really sure what happened after that, because sometimes a mother must block those fits from her mind. I'm sure we didn't give in though. I think we probably did what I did tonight and walked out closing the door behind us, because as this mommy likes to say, "no one wants to hear you acting like that". Except tonight, she's not 2, she's SEVEN AND A HALF and she wanted to stay up later than 8:30, except, she has been up until 10:30 or later for the past two weeks and she is worn out. So, she wasn't getting her way. Again, as the mommy in this case, my plan is always the best plan, end of story!

Anyway, I did what any good mother would do. I got the video camera. Of course the battery was dead, but she didn't know that. I opened the screen and acted as if I was filming her. I know what you're thinking, "Dang that's a good momma!", but wait...there's more. She flipped out when she realized I was "filming" her and begged me not to show it to anyone. To which I replied, "Oh, I'm just filming this to send in to Nanny 911."

"You can't let her come get me," she was really scared now (insert evil laugh here).

"Of course not, I'm just going to show her this video and see if she has any ideas on how to deal with napmat fits since you and Annie seem to have them ALOT lately!"

"You can't show that video to any of my friends!" Of course with the typing, the Linda Blair doesn't quite come through, so just play it out in your mind.

"Why, Beebs, are you ashamed of the way you are acting?"

"Yes and if my friends saw it, I would be so embarrassed!"

"Perhaps you should think about that before you have another napmat fit then."

Keep in mind, Annie and I were laughing the whole time. Annie just kept dying laughing, which made me laugh even harder. Now usually I would yell back, but I was extremely calm and Annie kept laughing. I really surprised myself.

I only wish that video camera would have worked so I could show her that video tomorrow. I'm going to charge it right now so I can video the next napmat fit. I think I'm onto something here!

Who threw away my wedding dress?

I know I'm not alone in this, but my kids say (and do) the weirdest things! So, Annie and Beebs got their own "spongy things" (that's what I call them). You know those things you put liquid body wash on and bathe with, yeah those. Anyway, Annie immediately took to tearing hers apart and it's white. She usually takes to tearing things apart rather quickly. That's just her gig (previous post). Slowly, but surly, she has picked and picked and picked and picked some more until she finally freed it from the string that was holding it all together. She has lots of time for these activities, because we let her play in the tub for a few extra minutes, you know like hours on end. Hey, if she's in the tub, she's not cutting hair, taping multiple papers to the wall in the hallway, putting Chapstick on Hemmer, Bitty and the bathroom mirror, or drawing on the walls or herself with Sharpie (yes, she does all of the things and more - please see previous posts for detailed descriptions). But I digress and must get back to the matter at hand! I heard her calling for me from the tub last night, saying, "Moooooooommmmmmmmyyyyyy, I'm getting married." Now, this is not an odd statement from either of my kids. We've had numerous weddings in the living room and Annie talks about getting married all the time and how her husband is gone to work, but he will be back soon to pick up Bitty and Hemmer...you get the picture.

Anyway, she wanted me to come see her "Wedding Dress". "It's beautiful and white!" she said.

I slowly (praying that the bathtub was not full of toilet paper) made my way to the bathroom and peeked in to see the creation that was a beautiful and white wedding dress. Yes, my friends, it was the spongy thing all picked apart, but in one very long piece and wrapped around my bride to be. And, yes it was very beautiful even if a little gal made it out of a spongy thing. Maybe not an engineer, but a designer of all things strange and lovely.

I found the wedding dress laid out beautifully in her floor last night after she was asleep and decided to save myself the time of picking up pieces of it that had been cut to shreds by the High School Musical scissors and go ahead and throw it in the trash. HUGE mistake!!! This morning my little angel came running to me with tears streaming down her face asking, "Who threw away my wedding dress?"

Annie's swimmin' and diamond necklaces

This is straight from the "mouf" of my Beebs...

"annie swam as good as a whale! her lifeguard was my swim teacher last year and my dad talked to a lifeguard and said, "annie needs to be moved to a different group, cause she's a way better swimmer than that." I laughed - ha ha - and I think that she is a good swimmer except at swim lessons, last year, with my coaches, his nickname was Crazy Corey!"

Thank you, my Beebs!

So, yesterday as I was getting dressed for work, I put on a necklace and earrings and, as usual, I checked with Beebs to make sure it looked okay with my outfit. Now, the necklace, which is total costume jewelry, has a big HUGE diamond (piece of cut glass), and Beebs replied, "Oh, Mommy, DIAMONDS go with everything!"

You gotta love the things that come out of the "moufs" of babes!